PrimeWire

Better than the recent Ianucci version certainly. That bloke really showed his true colours in the last few years. I wouldn’t pee on him if he was on fire. Well, I probably would if I needed to obviously. Any port in a storm as they say but you know what I mean. I’d have to pee on him and then spend loads of time drying him out just so that I could set him ablaze again. That would take ages and I’d probably forget just what I was doing half way through and feel like a proper chump as I was just standing there with the lighter and the petrol afterwards. Again. I’ve tried to set fire to celebrities before and it never works. They just seem to be too oily but it’s a creepy H.P Lovecraft kind of oil that somehow isn’t even flammable. It’s uncanny.