PrimeWire

This episode killed me. I battled a heroin addiction for 10yrs and I went into it pretty much the same way. ironically enough when your not an addict yet you think …since i’m not an addict, I won’t get addicted…obviously the completely opposite of how it actually works. I was so unaware of the reality, I never touched hard drugs before that. I was sheltered from a lot but out of neglect, not love. I trusted a guy I was with, I was going through some devastating times and had no clue what I was doing.I was only 23yrs old and he was 32, I trusted him just because he he was older, I thought he knew more. I had no idea he was an addict when I met him, even when he offered me that first pill and I said no, I thought he did it every once in a while and was just trying to help me temporarily ease my pain. I was in an extremely vulnerable place, he saw that as an opportunity to gain my trust by being there for me and saying he’d never hurt me. The day I took that first pill, when I finally gave in, I was exceptionally vulnerable, I didn’t even know what I was taking…it ended up being Oxy. The only thing I knew is that it helped me function like a normal person again and made the emotional pain bearable. Not long after that he offered me Heroin for the first time, again I trusted him and was fucked before I even knew what hit me. I only did it maybe every couple weeks at first,which only solidified the thought that I wasn’t an addict. My poor coping skills coupled with poor judgement, the need to be loved, the need to escape the pain and the pressures in life, was and still is, the perfect recipe for addiction! I was a good girl and yes I knew it was wrong but didn’t think it could happen to me. I lost everything in a little under a year, I got relief from my initial problems for about a fraction of that time, maybe a couple months tops. I knew I was addicted when, three months in I wanted to stop and when did I got sick. I had no idea I was dope sick, thought I just had the flu, until he convinced me how much worse it was going to get if I didn’t use and pretty much how I had to keep going now that I had started. I was scared to death and too ashamed to seek help so I spent the next decade running from that fear of being sick. I really felt like I had to use, big difference than wanting to use, not to mention escaping the shame I had accumulated. It’s like making a deal with the devil, you trade your soul to escape your hell, for a momentary feeling like you’ve been touched by god, for a second of the most unbelievable, euphoric, pain relieving illusion there is. It’s not until your world starts to fall apart and that illusion shatters, that you realize you paid the ultimate price only to have never left hell, except now your in a cage, one you walked right into, locked and swallowed the key, that you have been running in place inside this cage for years when it was you that had the key to free yourself all along…you were always free to choose to leave but got stuck in the illusion you couldn’t. This episode shows us just how powerful drugs really are in a way that really hits hard. They spread like a cancer, destroying everything and everyone directly and indirectly in its path. It saddens me to know this hasn’t stopped since then, now it’s the opiate epidemic. The way I see it, this country makes billions off of peoples suffering….they only pretend to care but really they can’t wait for you to get addicted or sick. There is no such thing as prevention here, they have opened up shop on every corner, offering a drug that promises to get you off of the very drug they prob put out on the street in the first place! Making bank off of the issue either way. I find it pretty convenient that there was an explosion of opiates, like someone opened the floodgates, then all the sudden they offer, originally hard to obtain and reserved for the privileged, medicine for free. A medicine that use to be $800 a month is now covered by Medi-Cal and Medicare… giving it out like candy, even to people without opiate addictions…getting a whole new generation down and dependent on them! It’s disgusting that money has always and will always be the top of the food chain and drugs are just another way of having control over us …they are weapons of mass destruction that keep us dependent on the system and coming back for more, keeping us in fear and consumed with ourselves, so we think we can’t think for ourselves, a distraction from our own power. We become just another one of their predictable statistics they can manage, keeping whole generations at their mercy…looking like the heroes…when really it’s them making it available in the first place…with all our resources and tech I believe if they really wanted to, they could do something more. I feel a lot of money goes into the wrong things…obviously…this just majorly affects everyone, causes more deaths than anything and is 100% preventable! The damage that just one addict creates, a wake that can be felt far beyond just family and friends, they affect everyone and everything they come into contact with and like chain reaction, it affects everyone those people come into contact with and so on and so on, that’s just one. It starts with educating our children, teaching them to value their trusted adults suggestions, teach them coping skills in school and principles to live by… Which is just as valuable as any other lesson they teach if not more..kids tend to tune parents out!it’s a priority to teach my kids how to cope and solve real life problems in a healthy way without sheltering them.mi give it to them straight. Sorry so long of a message, I just get so passionate about this and this episode is so very powerful, it set me off. 🙏💯