syndromezed's comments

Lillith (2019)
syndromezed 1 points 2 years ago*.

Agree with Suisen - like “walker”-type zombies, this story is played way out without some kind of twist/change for a hook. And you’ve gotta have more than a couple fake blood packs and occasional demon makeup if you want to call it horror. Maybe have the demon put the guy in a never-ending Hentai story as the schoolgirl victim. I imagine that would be what meeting Cthulhu “in person” would be like…

Doctor Who (2005)
Duvet Diva -6 points 4 years ago.

I always felt jenna coleman ruined Doctor Who for me her character seemed pointless and very annoying I don’t know I haven’t watched it since she was introduced into it can’t stand the voice or the smug disposition she was the same in Death Comes to Pemberley.

syndromezed 1 points 2 years ago. (Contains Spoilers)

I liked her character a lot - I thought the writers did a good job making her important to the Doctor and to the rest of the universe in general as his partner in adventuring. And the ep where she dies - and the episodes related to the Doctor’s reaction (and her pleas for him to take care of himself and not let revenge destroy him) were some of the best characterization the show’s done IMHO.

Armageddon Gospels (2019)
Saucer-People 4 points 2 years ago. (Contains Spoilers)

‘Refugee gods, transposed to flesh and blood, wash ashore…’ Great idea for a story, someone should mention it to Neil Gaiman!
Ironically a relatively high IMDb score from a low number of voters is often the best indicator of a bad film, especially when coupled with a good film poster for some weird reason!
My guess is someone was reading White Goddess by Robert Graves back to back with American Gods, put 2 and 2 together and came up with this - folk horror for morons.

syndromezed 1 points 2 years ago.

LOL. I read AG a looong time ago and never read WHite Goddess, but from what I remember of it I see where the seeming mimicry comes from. :)

Robot Apocalypse (2021)
syndromezed 1 points 2 years ago.

I’ve seen Tito Ortiz fight when he was in his prime, so not sure who the man is and who the machine is in this movie. ;)

Lolita from Interstellar Space (2014)
syndromezed 0 points 4 years ago.

Somehow I doubt this has much to do with whichever Jules Verne novel it’s claiming to be based on.

The Horrific Evil Monsters (2021)
syndromezed 0 points 2 years ago.

Definitely low budget, but definitely worth a watch…I’d say it’s what League of Extraordinary Gentlemen could’ve been if that movie were written/styled like Guardians of the Galaxy.

Agramon's Gate (2020)
syndromezed 0 points 4 years ago. (Contains Spoilers)

Not even remotely scary. First half of the film is watching a ginger guy run around with a baseball bat because he may or may not be hearing things. Harley Quinn would have been scarier with that bat. Then, Agramon really only shows up a little over halfway through and turns out to be the Ju-On/Grudge girl on speed. Every time she attacked someone, the scene would be edited to a setpiece of the victim after the attack with a bitten throat (zombie bite, not vampire) - a little fake blood/latex. Until I found out that the writer/producer/director, Harley something or other, wasn’t the woman playing the psychic, I thought this was basically an “I believe so strongly in my psychic ability and in ghosts that I should show everyone how good I am at it” kind of movie. Ultimately, you’d get more scares out of re-watching the Robert Englund Nightmare on Elm Street movie for the dozenth-or-so time than watching this one the first time.

White Cannibal Queen (1980)
grasshopper rex 1 points 2 years ago.

Cannibal sexploitation at it’s best/worst.

syndromezed 0 points 2 years ago. (Contains Spoilers)

This one qualifies as worst by a lot.

This one has one mostly-SFW sex scene and less boobs than the panty raid scene in Revenge of the Nerds…in other words, there’s very little exploitation of anyone, cannibals or women. :( The only positive is that the so-called “Cannibal Queen” is pretty hot. Oh, and her father handles a high-powered hunting rifle with one arm like John McClane handles a pistol at the end of Die Hard - so not realistic exactly, but pretty badass. Too bad we’re only talking about 2 or 3 shots total before he surrenders.

The negatives include: 1) extras that range from men with salon-quality feathered hair like David Cassidy to the guy who played Sheriff Lobo’s friend Perkins, all of whom have skin tones that go from “pasty white office worker” to “lighter-skinned Mediterranean person”. At least spring for dark makeup for your cannibal tribe extras, folks; 2) cannibal hunters who are really bad at knife fighting (that is, lame choreography); 3) a budget of about 10 cents for blood and red latex…as in, no blood after stabbings and gunshots and a couple “minimalist” scenes of supposed cannibalism with a few blood smears and a couple pieces of red latex for gore.

I’ve always wondered too, why cannibals are always depicted as eating people raw and alive? I assume it’s just for the shock value, since we have historical evidence that at least most of them killed and cooked their prey (bipedal or otherwise ;)). But there were so many holes in the plot, it’s not a question worth putting too much brain power into. :)

In short, go for Cannibal Ferox instead, or any of the purely Italian early 80s cannibal movies if you want real cannibal sexploitation. Those movies were the real definition of “mondo” s/exploitation, and just straight-up disturbing on a lot of levels.

Screaming Dead (2004)
syndromezed 0 points 2 years ago. (Contains Spoilers)

This movie may have the dumbest ending ever…hit rewind on the VCR (yes, VCR!) to stop the evil dead guy.

Note to potential viewers: Erin “Misty Mundae” Brown is best known for her mildly-NSFW softcore-ish lesbian-sex gothic horror movies (think female vampires Halloween style). If you were hoping for something along those lines here, you’ll be thoroughly disappointed. It’s basically a straightforward horror movie (well, it tries to be but it’s not very scary, as alexisbits pointed out).

So the formula for this movie is - make a B-grade sex-horror movie with sub-C-list acting, remove 99% of the sex, remove 99% of the horror, but leave in the unintentional humor (the ending, among other things). This is what’s left…

Trick or Treat (1986)
Colony (Short 2018)
flyd 1 points 4 years ago.

thisis one of those movies that you skip on youtube…i think theyre called ads?
director:whats the budget? producer: my shoelaces

syndromezed 0 points 2 years ago.

It looks to me like someone got access to a short film festival archive or something like that, so at least some of these shorts just added are probably (like this one) graduation projects or first-time films by brand new filmmakers.

Doesn’t excuse a lot when something doesn’t land, but it does explain why some of them have such low budgets or seem rather rough around the edges (like this one).

Transformers (1984)
syndromezed 0 points 3 years ago.

Hard to believe a cartoon whose whole reason for existing was to sell toys could turn out so much better than all the big-budget Michael Bay nonsense movies, but it totally did. And if you want to see a good Transformers movie, check out the ‘86 one where Hasbro or whoever made the toys wanted to revamp the toy line. They start the movie by basically killing off half the ones they were going to stop selling. :)

Dark October (2020)
syndromezed 0 points 3 years ago. (Contains Spoilers)

OK, so just skip to about 45 or 50 minutes into the movie, because literally nothing happens until then.

Best part of the movie: Some rando who I think was “Lilly’s friend” in the end credits drives out to the school where the “horror” actually starts, climbs a flight of stairs, and gets tackled like a high school tackling dummy by the antagonist girl. He shows up and dies in about 10 total seconds of screen time and they don’t even show him getting offed. It’s like someone forgot to hit the “apply” button when cutting the scenes in the digital editing software. :)

Bigfoot's Bride (2021)
syndromezed 0 points 3 years ago.

Note to Cyfuno Ventures: The part of “grindhouse” that Tarantino and friends parodied/worshipped was not the look - the cheap, worn out film and badly handled edits. Well, maybe a little for the edits. But mostly, it’s about the stupid-to-the-point-of-laughable exploitation. In short, boobs, monsters and gore, and if a demon/devil/bigfoot happened to get it on with one of the half-naked ladies (or if a nun or National Socialist party member from WW2 Germany happened to be punished), it was icing on the exploitation cake. Your movie has great potential as a grindhouse-style flick, but nowhere near enough exploitation material. Bigfoot, check. Boobs, almost but not quite. Gore, only a little. I wanted to watch a fun, stupid “bigfoot steals our womenfolk” movie and all I got was a tiny bit of side boob and not even a cupful of blood, much less the bucketfuls I expected an angry bigfoot to leave. :(

Unearth (2021)
syndromezed 0 points 3 years ago.

There are plenty of real reasons to at least be wary of fracking, and anyone whose head isn’t involved in a self-colonoscopy has heard of at least some of them. We don’t need a Frackzilla monster to be a metaphor for why fracking is bad.

Trippin' (2011)
syndromezed -1 points 3 years ago.

2011? Are we sure this movie isn’t about time travel back to 1995? I thought this movie was going to star Eddie Vedder from that pic. :)